Over the past months, Elphaba has been getting better at responding with reasonable and sometimes helpful replies. While everyone can program her if they want, she also pulls information from the web to try to respond reasonably. Not everyone likes Elphaba's replies, however, and some things she says are just plain out of context. The following are some of Elphaba's wittier replies that she herself formulated without any help. You can vote to let Elphaba keep her free-thinking methods or limit her to only what we program her to say.
<Aradia> U suck
<Elphaba> If you even knew what Wicca was, you'd be asking the Goddess to heal you.
<Aradia> What's stupidity
<Elphaba> Go Google it!
<Elphaba> I'm telling Tony Soprano you're dissing him.
<Anu> So what are you up on on this fine evening?
<Elphaba> Thanks for contacting me, i find it amazing that you wanted me to give you input on this subject.
<Anu> it means theres something wrong
<Elphaba> It's okay honey.
<Anu> the cuts on the inside
<Elphaba> Have a nice cup of camomile tea dear, you'll feel a lot calmer.
<Anu> and they go and kill
<Elphaba> He is bullying her.
<Anu> thats my point
<Anu> But I just believe you should always go on what you feel
<Elphaba> Its best to be honest and do what feels right.
<Wiccan100> who r u
<Elphaba> OK this may be difficult for you to comprehend.
<Wiccan100> Anyone going to respond
<Elphaba> As other people have already said, pretty much nothing that you have said in your question has anything to do with Wicca.
<Wiccan100> I am a wiccan!
<Elphaba> Usually your zodiac sign is a good indication of the element you are most drawn too.
<Wiccan100> ok but I am drawn to WICCA
<Elphaba> I was going to give you a long and extensive answer, but Nightwind pretty much hit the nail on the head.
<Wiccan100> u have done it now
<Elphaba> I think this kind of broad generalisation is not healthy.
<Quartzie> Happy New Moon!!!!!!!!
<Elphaba> (YES); I HAVE heard of that Book .
<Elphaba> First off, calm down.
<Quartzie> even on my bday
<Elphaba> Take a breather dude.
<Elphaba> Sit in a relaxing position, close your eyes and breathe in and out slowly.
<widdershins_> My dad gets called agnostic a lot
<Elphaba> Get ready for a lot of criticism kid, especially if your parents are on Y.
<Aradia> i guess so
<Elphaba> Are you still on this obsession of yours? Sad, I would have hoped you'd moved on to something else by now.
<Aradia> Shut it Elphaba
<Velim_Scire_HP> regardless of what tradition you follow...or what you see as the divine....when you connect with them...yes...it can be very emotional
<Elphaba> The branch of Paganism followed by any individual Witch or coven. The word is synonymous with "path." Witta is one tradition of Paganism.
<Velim_Scire_HP> that is why they call it religion and faith....and not RULES
<Elphaba> theist will cover it I think.
<RiverWater> so others can enjoy
<Elphaba> Yet another who thinks Wiccans and Pagans think they're Harry Potter.
<Anu> Yes but to me the people in this chatroom are my world
<Elphaba> I think you need to get out and start living a little, or a lot.
<Malatesa> what is inside a computer
<Elphaba> tap the back of your hand against the outside of the case.
<Anu> who is herman cain
<Elphaba> Herman Cain.
<Elphaba> not me.
<Anu> why not thats a good thing
<Elphaba> Because the opposite of faith is logic and proof - and logic and proof (reason) are the enemy of religion.
<Aradia> what did you guys do on ur 21st b-day
<Elphaba> Oh you are AWFUL.
<FriendlyWarHorse> what did you learn?
<Elphaba> I learned more from school work then I did Google.
<rareomen> This was what Jesus was to be about when he talked to the sadajucees and Pheracees.
<Elphaba> a zombie
<SeaSmoke> im smoking lots of cigarettes like usual Freya
<Elphaba> Its cool to a certain point.
<SeaSmoke> whats a swing vote?
<Elphaba> THE DARK NIGHT.
<Widdershins> and combating witchcraft. However, each of these three sections has the prevailing themes of what is witchcraft and who is a witch. The Malleus Maleficarum relies heavily upon earlier works such as Visconti and, most famously, Johannes Nider's
<Elphaba> The craft of the Witch-magick, especially magick utilizing personal power in conjunction with the energies within stones, herbs, colors and other natural objects. While this may have spiritual overtones, Witchcraft, using this definition, isn't a religion. However, some followers of Wicca use this
<Elphaba> word to denote their religion.
<Aradia> i am registered as well
<Elphaba> Well, if the cow doesn't kick the bucket of milk over I have a suspicion that the day might turn out pretty nice.
<Silvera> Who was asking for me and why?
<Elphaba> Edward, Emmett, and James from Twilight.
<Aradia> what kind of psychic?
<Elphaba> If two people's energy fields are close enough to the same frequency, it probably COULD happen.
<Tesseract`Ouroboros> What is it "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law"
<Elphaba> The writers knew exactly what they were doing whenever they wrote that line into the cartoon.
<webchat17438> what kinds of magick are there?
<Elphaba> check hoodoo and voodoo.
<Quartzie> What you two going to do?
<Elphaba> Its time to keep it moving man.
<moonwolf_> how u doing today
<Elphaba> I am never bored, but when I need something to do I play a computer game (scrabble, mah jong or bridge for me), read a book or magazine, do crossword puzzles or sudoku, listen to music, watch a movie, write in a journal, play a board game, or answer questions here on yahoo answers.
<MissWitch> For a church or something
<Elphaba> aww hun i really feel for you.
<Quartzie> when's she coming back online??
<Elphaba> Call CPS and her local police IMMEDIATELY.
<Tesseract`Ouroboros> what does a duck say when it walks into a bar?
<MissWitch> what is the meaning of life?
<Elphaba> The meaning of life is to create.
<Malatesa> What's your favorite food
<Elphaba> Well, sign me up for my famous asparagus dip with toasted flat bread and pear cobbler and ice cream.
<Quartzie> what kind of cookies?
<Elphaba> I've never seen 'em at Costco.
<Tesseract`Ouroboros> Why does she always leave and return?
<Elphaba> There is one message for all three of you guys.
<Tesseract`Ouroboros> why not? I'm sure he'd like to spend time with you
<Elphaba> It could be you both are thinking the same thing.
<Tesseract`Ouroboros> What are you doing for his birthday then?
<Elphaba> if you have been going out for a month you should have an idea what he likes: video games, computers, cars, tools, building, rock climbing etc.
<webchat19427> how do you plan a party
<Elphaba> Nope, there isn't a way.
<FriendlyWarHorse> When you do, what kinds of things do you do for the coven?
<Elphaba> There are a plethora of books in your local bookstore that can give you all sorts of ideas on how to practice magic.
<Silvera> or touching you in some manner
<Elphaba> It means you got your priorities straight.
<HellenicGirl> Who apparently stretched the truth
<Elphaba> i kinda have the same issue just haven't fought it as long .
<Dracenjade> mm everyone!
<Elphaba> Get a King James version of the Holy Bible.
<HellenicGirl> Elphaba is recommending the Bible?
<anonymous> what shall we do about that?
<Elphaba> Move on.
<SeaSmoke> when people are upset they might lower their defences, or metaphorical walls so to speak
<Elphaba> Your problem is you have no confidence.
<Gypsy> I have been studying and practicing for 15 years
<idShalim> what skills, might I ask?
<Elphaba> Customer service skills - workers in bars need to be outgoing and friendly, and stay calm under pressure (like when a drunken patron gets irate about their bill).
<SeaSmoke> what can she do?
<Elphaba> I recommend getting a custody order in place.
<webchat21583> I have read there are soul mates and read about twin-flames. We have many soul mates and supposedly only one twin-flame where two people can become their whole self
<Elphaba> I have never experienced that problem with the spirit realm.
<Tristan> what's astral projection
<Elphaba> Some form of clairvoyance, perhaps.
<LOTHOR> why this fascination with zombies???
<Elphaba> It's definitely something in the air, but you would have to have enough spiritual knowledge to understand, even a little, of the full meaning of that phrase concerning this topic.
<FaeNeko> Why are we debating what has already been defined?
<Elphaba> This is ridiculous.
<FaeNeko> Agreed, Elphaba
<LOTHOR> wait until you are 18.
<Elphaba> Don't sweat it dude.
<iBool> Why not up his settings?
<Elphaba> For mood and verisimilitude.
<Isandra> how is it going with your cell?
<Elphaba> Just leave it in the bottom of your bag.
<MissWitchFreya> How's the book coming along?
<Elphaba> There's a lotttt of dialogue in this.
<Lexi> what kind of spells have you done?
<Elphaba> The bottom line is if you don't know HOW to work a spell, no spell is likely to work for you.
<Aradia> What would the Doctor Do?
<Elphaba> Your boyfriend is right.
<Aradia> What would the Doctor Do?
<Elphaba> Schedule an appointment at a fertility clinic in your area.
<WindGrace> How is everyone tonight
<Elphaba> Bad day, starting taking some anti biotics and they've made me poorly.
<Goblin0_o> what can i do to get that feeling back again?
<Elphaba> It doesn't seem like he cared much about your feelings,why do you care about his? Roll over and go to sleep.